How Often Do You Check Out?
Imagine a child has had an accident at the playground and they injure themselves. No one came to the rescue.
Now imagine an adult living in a stressful environment, perhaps an abusive relationship or a job in which they are having a hard time coping. No one came to the rescue, and no comfort was offered.
In each of these scenarios, the internal self is saying I am not safe, and I am scared and shuts down and disconnects from their body, thinking and environment.
In any scary or difficult circumstances, our reaction is to stay and fight, get out by fleeing, or stay and go into freeze mode.
Depending on the situation, fight or flight is often impossible for an adult or child, so their internal system goes into a freeze state.
I know the freeze state very well because of the traumatic events of my early life. I learned to live by shutting down and dissociating from my environment, thinking, and connection to my physical body.
What I did not realize is that as I grew up and other traumatic events occurred, I would automatically go into a shutdown.
How often do you check out?
Are you aware you are not present in your body, your thinking is unclear, and you have disassociated from your surroundings?
In my research, I have learned many people do not realize they are living in this state of depersonalization. They may live their whole life this way and not know it.
The effects on our lives are profound.
Our ability to live a full and engaged life is restricted by the fact we are not fully present.
I remember sitting with the oncologist some years ago, describing to me the life-threatening cancer I had growing in my body.
My internal response was to feel numb and dissociate from the experience.
I would refer to myself as “The Man With The Homeless Heart.” It is also the title of my new book.
To live full, vibrant lives, we need to do the work to overcome dissociation and live fully present in each moment.
Do a self-check and see what you discover about how and when you check out.